OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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