It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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