I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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