Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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