I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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