I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
