Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i will never coherently bang her
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
