there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
