He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
