I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Enjoy the penises
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
