Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
