my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
