There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
