just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
