i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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