Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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