you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
