Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
