margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
