some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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