He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
