we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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