He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
