All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't judge me ๐๐ผ his dick just whispers my name
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again itโs a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize