I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
