is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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