she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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