i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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