then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
