She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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