so that wasnt chicken after all
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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