life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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