For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
