just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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