the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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