We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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