theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
