nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
