hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
