she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
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