Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i've created a new STD.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
