Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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