i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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