I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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