I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You are the jesus of drinking
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
