You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
