Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
