I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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