I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
