Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
